possibilist fanfiction—20, give the bruises out like gifts. also currently: queer & post-colonial theory, extra dry decaf skim cappuccino, champagne, mason jars, callused knuckles, all of the quiet ghosts in bloom. (& quinn fabray.)
Monday, 14 April 2014
My girlfriend and I had some very drunk sex over the weekend and she didn't acknowledge my safeword. I haven't said anything because she blacked out that night. What should I do...?

i’d say to definitely talk about it—make it clear that you’re not trying to make her feel bad, but that it needs to be a discussion you have in terms of going forward & having safe sex.

just as another note to the anon who was asking you about sex from someone who was in a similar place - even if you have a conversation and you still feel unsafe, don't do it. even if you can't logically explain why you're not comforted, it doesn't matter. only do what you're safe and always feel free to say no/stop even if you're in the middle of having sex

oh yeah definitely. i mean, in essence that’s why safewords exist so. yeah, be safe.

Okay yeah, that makes sense. You're right. Idk I'm just so inexperienced with sex that all of this is new and sometimes scary for me

in terms of how you’re approaching asking for advice & not just letting someone hurt you (& ostensibly themselves in that), you’re definitely being much wiser than i when it comes to not being super experienced with sex. just, be safe, value your body & all of the parts of your self, & always, always, have conversations about comfortable consent.

I need some advice. This girl that I've been talking to (we met online but go to the same school) is super nice and friendly and wants to meet up for casual sex, but I found her blog which has a lot of bdsm things that I don't like, and she talks about how she gets off on watching porn videos of the girl crying during sex. What should I do? :(

i would say that, especially when it comes to bdsm, really really open & honest conversation is the most important thing. bdsm is only ever okay when there’s lots of safety measures involved as well as lots of consent & trust involved, & if any part of it makes you uncomfortable, you really need to open up a conversation. don’t feel like you need to have the same views on bdsm (or sex in general) as your partner(s), whatever they may be; your safety, as well as hers, is paramount in this situation, & you should begin a conversation & be really honest during said dialogue. make sure that it’s a dialogue—let her talk too, absolutely—but don’t feel like you need to compromise what makes you (un)comfortable: if she’s a solid human that’s going to last, she’s going to be understanding & respectful of your views on what’s safe for you in terms of sex, & your safety is going to be important to her. also in that, her safety is taken into account, because in good, safe bdsm, both parties have safewords, & both parties are intensely aware of the needs of the other (that’s why it works). so yeah—open a very honest dialogue about bdsm & your comfort & safety, & if the answers she gives make you uncomfortable or feel unsafe, do not practice bdsm just to please her. that’s not what bdsm should be, nor is it fair to either of you.

So this might be a long shot, but do you remember a fic where Quinn was being abused or something and Rachel tries to help her. Later on in the fic Rachel shouts at Quinn who then like curls up into a ball and thinks that because Rachel was yelling that she doesnt love her anymore. Something along that line. Its like an angsty fic and Quinn has serious issues and then Rachel feels bad for yelling. I've been trying to find it but it's like trying to find the name of a classical song in my head.

I do not know this but maybe a flowerer will?

Sunday, 13 April 2014
I'm sorry you're not feeling well!! Hangovers are the worst. What is Rachel's go-to hangover food? And Q's?

rachel’s is some detox superfood shake & like some cinnamon toast lol. quinn’s is bagels & cream cheese & lots of coffee.

How did Rachel react to hearing about Santana and Quinn having sex?

well in the like current big headcanon world that’s going on in my fics, it’s all AU after season 3, so that doesn’t happen.

how do you feel about old school snail mail letter writing?

i actually force people to do it with me i love it so much

Has any of Quinn or Rachel's friends seen their suggestive selfies on their phones before? Hahaha

hahahaha oh yknow when you just have those people that don’t understand that when you show them one picture on your phone it does not mean flip to another picture?

so yes, i’m sure it’s happened once or twice lol. also i’ve no doubt that quinn uses iMessage on her mac during boring lectures to chat with rachel & those pictures pop up without warning lol so yes, definitely there too.

omfg so if you write strap on smut could you please please have quinn using it on rachel?

yeah i mean i’ve always thought those power-dynamics & placement of the phallus makes sense in that scenario so i’ve no objections to that

Well, I do hope you're better soon or at least don't have to deal with too much noise/light or annoying people. I forget what a bitch the morning will be when I'm drinking too, literally every single time, so I feel you.

i made it through all of the people-time today so i’ve the rest of the afternoon & evening to read in my softly natural-light apartment & nap a little if i need.

& i don’t get drunk too often & i got drunk last night lol. mostly the hangover is so bad atm because i drank a lot of champagne & then did shots of pear vodka (idk why i needed to do those shots or why my friend had pear vodka, but obviously i was inebriated) & during the course of like two hours i smoked some cigarettes too & i hadn’t eaten like anything all day so. yknow, not a stellar combo lol.

but i’ve not thrown up any after last night (which was so, so special lol) & i’ve had my hangover foods so. i’m doing okay lol 

My dad taught me the best hangover cure - if you can handle milk, make and drink an egg cream. I don't know why it's called an egg cream since there are no actual eggs involved, but you'll feel better almost immediately.

sadly i definitely don’t drink milk. but i’ve opened the windows & drawn the curtains so i have a nice lil breeze & it’s good light, & i’m drinking tea & reading & might nap because i have a headache but yeah. i’m okay lol

what is your favorite fanfic that you've written?

lol oh my that’s a tough question. um, i really like ‘under the cold winter my love took me through the desert’ & ‘that ocean could have carried us a thousand miles’ because i like writing quinn & faberry through other povs.

Have you read Italo Calvino's "Invisible Cities?" It's kind of my first venture into postmodernism (I haven't yet finished reading) and I was wondering if you had any opinions on the book or the author.

i read it like way back in freshman year, & from what i remember most is that he’s a structuralist, so he’s postmodern but also not because he’s not a post-structuralist, so it’s an interesting & sort of problematic text (not problematic in a purely negative sense, though). but yeah, i tend to think of heavy heavy postmodern texts as also post-structural, so it occupies a strange sort of space for me.

but other than that in terms of like theoretical thought, i remember it was a beautiful book.

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